Please Don’t Fart on My Asana

I practice Bikram Yoga.

Before you dis it, hear me out. I know there’s a lot of slap talk about it because of Bikram himself who has made a pretty penny from T M-ing his sequence of postures. I don’t care about all that. What I care about is whether it works for me and it does.

Before Bikram Yoga, I could not stick to any form of exercise, nor could I stick with a  yoga practice. Holding my leg in the air for five minutes and deep breathing just didn’t cut it. For some sick reason, I love being in a room that’s over 100 degrees farenheit, sweating my life away as I hold various nutty/frustrating postures. The fact that my brain is often yelling “Let’s get the FUDGE out of here! I’m dying” is one of the challenges I embrace. Yeah, the postures never vary (except when an instructor is feeling particularly motivated and makes us hold a posture WAY longer than the standard minute) but that’s what’s good about it. You work and work at a posture until you think you know it, and then it deepens and gets better and better beyond that.

Anyway, this is not a rant about why Bikram yoga is good. Like selecting wine, if you like it then it’s good for you.

No, I want to vent about my session today which started out all fine and dandy. The heat was blowing, I was lying on my mat in Savasana waiting for the class to start when a none too lovely aroma filled the air…something like rotting cabbage.

Some yogi or yogini nearby was letting off stink bombs. Now, I know that we all have gas, and yes, sometimes we can’t control it…but this wasn’t the first time. And it wasn’t like it was just once…no, it was peppered throughout the entirety of my 90 minute class…usually in the toughest posture requiring deep breathing – the exertion being the reason for said stink bombs. Talk about a test to see how inward one can go. How can one deep breath with that kind of gas floating in 110 degree air? Seriously, I didn’t know whether to breath or gag. Not to mention, in the silent room, it was hard to not blurt out, “Seriously?!?” The gas was so enveloping I felt like others might think it was me. Talk about leaving pride and ego at the door.

To Stinky-McStinkfarm- please, please,please release your gases in the bathroom before the start of class…or adjust your diet, I detected too much asparagus and or vegetal matter. Not all of us are cut out for vegetarianism.

Gack! Too much info. Sorry. Just needed to vent…

would have loved an actual vent this morning…

S

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